Life Goes On

Sometimes you have to fall before you fly…

The Power of a Name

July8

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”

 - Juliet, “The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet”, Act II Scene II, William Shakespeare

So I’ve officially graduated High School, I should be thinking about college, the future, finances et cetera…But what do I find myself thinking about?

Names.

I’ve been thinking about how much power is in a name. It’s meaning. It’s essence.

It starts with our parents deciding what name fits your face, or what name “sounds” good. This is what you will be called (legally unless it is changed) for the rest of your life. This is what defines you in the eye of the public.

Then you are put to the task to learn and to respond to your name. You must recognize that it is your own, even if you share it with thousands of other people, or possibly dogs, cat, or other animals, maybe even a car.

But later in life, the mere mention of a name can do so much.

You know, like when the name of someone you don’t particularly care for is brought up in conversation, you grimace or roll your eyes.

When the name of someone you are attracted to is brought up your heart flutters, or blood rushes to your face.

When the name of someone you’ve lost is brought up you cry.

In J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter”, the name of the antagonist is scarcely mentioned by the non main characters of the book. Instead of Voldemort, he is “He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named”. This is out of the pure fear in response to Voldemort’s name. Voldemort takes great pride in the fact that he is so feared that his very name commands terror.

In Ayn Rand’s “Anthem”, names as we know them today aren’t even given. They are given a first, almost factory, noun followed by a series of numbers. Because names and anything that is not collective is considered to be “evil”. The characters of the novella don’t know the pronoun “I” and do not use it. Instead, they speak in “we” and”our” (“We like that.” as opposed to “I like that.”). Near the end of the book, the main character, Equality 7-2521 and his counterpart, Liberty 5-3000, at first give the other names in their minds (“The Unconquered” and “The Golden One”), which shows that they have set the other apart from the populous, and later give themselves names (“Prometheus” and “Gaia”), and thereby claiming their own individuality.

In Christopher Paolini’s  “Eragon”, everything has it’s “true” name– the very substance and essance of the thing– which gives the speaker of this name full, magical power over it.

In the movie adaptation of Stan Lee’s “X-Men”, the antagonist, Magneto, asks another mutant “What’s your name?” to which the mutant responds, “John.”. Magneto then counters with, “What’s your real name, John?”, to which John replies, “Pyro.”

In Tim Burton’s “Beetlejuice”, speaking the name of the antagonist, Beetleguise, three times will either give him power or take it away.

As further demonstrated by the examples above, the power behind a name is enormous, far beyond what most people realize. And even past first names is, of course, the last name. What do the names: Kardashian, Olsen, Winfrey, Lopez, Wayne (As in John, not ‘Lil), Washington, Picasso, Shakespeare, do to you? What kind of response does it make you have?

Having a certain last name and sharing relations with certain people can get you a long way in life. And, of course, there are those people whom you cannot identify unless you speak both their first and last name. That one popular guy in school, celebrity, or author that is so idolized the first and last names are never separate. Or the exact opposite, of someone’s name being so powerful that only their last name is used(Shakespeare).

I apologize for going around in circles on something entirely unuseful to your every day life, but I just wished to share my thoughts on a subject that has been on my mind. Maybe you found it interesting, and I would love to hear further imput on the subject.

 

Life Goes On.

Closure

July8

Originally Posted: November 8th, 201o

Edited and Otherwise Added to: July 8th, 2012

 

So as many of you know, I just (in 2010) ended a relationship with a guy I definitely should not have been with. I’m not going to say names, and I’m not going to go into too much detail about the relationship itself. But I have learned a lot from my mistakes. And for those going through a situation with a guy (or girl) and they don’t know where it’s going or what to do…this one’s for you:

So first of all, he was my first boyfriend…ever. Ya, 16 years without a boyfriend, I know, shocker. But it was because of this that I had the typical teenager girl issue of falling “in love” quickly and easily. So, I fell for him knowing full well that my parents would not approve.

Mistake #1: Parents usually know which guys (girls) are the ones that are NOT good for you!!

Second, he kept pressuring me to go out of boundaries that I had set before, but had become entrapped by the idea that he would leave me if I didn’t keep him happy. But he was sneaky about the way that he was pressuring me, “Only if you want to…”, “I would never do anything to hurt you…”, “I want to marry you some day…” . He made me feel wanted and feel like it was a good idea. Lucky for me, God was there (no matter how cheesy it sounds) and made sure I didn’t go too far.

Mistake #2: Manipulation is NOT love…no matter how convincing it is…

Another thing, we had to sneak around to go on dates. And I dragged my friends into helping me, even though none of them approved of him. But I didn’t know they didn’t approve, they never spoke up. I became so distant from my friends, because my world had become all about him.

Mistake #3: Never, EVER, become solely dependent on one person. Especially when that person isn’t God…

Mistake #4: You need to trust your friends, but you don’t need to drag them into the fire with you. That is just selfish.

Ok, so I broke up with him after my parents “broke us up”. You see, we were both determined to wait until I was 18 so that we could continue dating. I used friends’ phones to text him. But I soon became, almost literally, a zombie. I woke up, got out of bed, went to school, but I didn’t live. I wasn’t alive. I was just an empty shell with a name walking around. And I soon began to ask myself “Why am I holding on?” What had made this guy so important that I was slowly killing myself?

That’s when it came to me. I was holding on for no reason. There wasn’ta reason. I was killing myself for NOTHING!

And on top of that it was hurting all of my closest friends. I severed several of my closest friendships, and probably lost one of my closest girl friends…forever. So, I broke it off. For real this time.

I ended it over text, not because of cowardice, but because I knew that if I called he would find some way to reel me back in: start crying over the phone, throwing things I had previously said back at me, et cetera. What I wasafraid of, was being with someone I knew I didn’t love for the rest of my life.

Mistake #5: If you hold onto nothing…you fall. That thin air you are desperately grasping for, it will never keep you from falling into the depths of depression. Instead, hold fast to Christ: The SOLID Rock.

He hates me now. And he will probably hate me for the rest of his life. But you know, why should that matter to me? God already has some amazing guy heading straight for me, ready to sweep me up off my feet and make my life like a fairy tale.

I tried chasing after a guy recently…and that didn’t work out. So, I’ve decided to sit back, relax, enjoy being single, and just let what ever God sends my way come.

I now have rules for all dating relationships:

Rule #1: Friends must approve of boy, after friends approve PARENTS must approve as well. (This is because friends are more easy to get approval from, then the boy gets sent up to the bigger guys.)

Rule #2: Sure, the man is in charge of the relationship…but the WOMAN wears the pants. No questions asked or you will not date me. I WEAR the pants, I DO NOT take them off.

Rule #3: Boyfriends come and go, friends…are one of the most precious things in life. Don’t EVER let them go.

Rule #4: Trust your friends opinions. Always. Especially if they are ALL saying the same thing.

Rule #5: God comes first. Then family, then friends, THEN the boy. NO Exceptions.

I hope you have not gone through what I have (even though I have not explained what happened to me), or worse. But I hope that if you have, that these rules and mistakes will help you along. I know I am not the most experienced person…not even close. But something told me that someone, somewhere out there, needed to here my (condensed) testimony…

Life Goes On.

 

 

Golden Calf of Coolness

July8

Originally Posted: August 23, 2010

Edited and Otherwise Added to: July 8th, 2012

 

Ok, so I’m pretty sure all of us have been called “weird” at some point in our lives. But really, the person that called you weird…they just happen to be normal? I just laughed to myself thinking about that person with their odd quirks and imperfections thinking that they are ,in fact, “normal”.

And even if there was such a thing as normal…I really, honestly, and truly would loathe to be normal. I mean, who wants to be the same as everyone else? Not me.

One day, my mom, dad, and I went to the mall to do some shopping, and I swear: Every single girl there had perfectly flat ironed hair, huge sun glasses, daisy dukes, and a Forever 21 shopping bag. They go out of their way to do what’s “cool”. Trying so hard to squeeze their unique non stereotypical package of personality and body into a mold labeled “Cool/Popular/Et Cetera”. And, unfortunately, this cookie cutter sometimes forces that individual to lose sight of the original.

Any of my friends will tell you I have never been one of the “cool” or “popular” girls. At one point in my life, I actually did try to fit in with them…after jumping through hoops and kissing some ass, I found that it was so, completely, boring. It was awful.

I believe this perfectly “cool” and “normal” being to be a myth that we have invented and since then, idolized. The “golden calf of coolness”, you could say. Not real, but sure nice to look at and believe in.

If somebody out there really is “normal”…in reality…that person IS weird, because they would be the only person in this world that would be normal. Think about it, if they were the only being who was “normal” and everyone else was odd, that would make them the abnormal one.

I got news for you: everyone on this rock we call Earth is odd/weird/quirky/etc. Next time somebody calls you weird…just keep in mind they are far from normal. And if you really want to take it up a notch, say something like:

“Hey! Something we have in common!”

“You too, man, you too.”

or my personal favorite, “I bow to your all knowing condemnation, Golden Calf of Coolness.”

Life Goes On.

You Will Never Feel Love

July8

Originally Posted: August 20th, 2010.

Edited and Added to: July 7th, 2012.

 

“True Love”, “Everlasting Love”, “Love of My Life”…what ever happened to all of that?

Now “I love you” is one of the most over used phrases today. Just a couple of weeks ago at Wal-mart I saw a shirt that said “I fall in love at least twice a day.”  With all due respect: What the hell?? The word love is supposed to mean something…and the more people just throw it around, the less it means. (I was tempted to buy the shirt to film and post it’s burning on Youtube.)

Personally, my motto for life is, “Love is only a word…prove it.” And I absolutely agree with what a wise person once said, “Love takes 2 seconds to say, 2 hours to explain, and a life time to prove.”

So when did this great decline of the word “love” start? Honestly, I think it has something to do with my generation…I know I haven’t been in the world very long. I mean, I’m only 18, but still I can’t be the only one who has ever realized that it seems like every other sentence and conversation, somebody says “I love you”. I believe if you’re going to say that word you should really, truly, mean it.

I mean, what happened to stuff like “Cinderella”, and “The Little Mermaid”, or even “The Lion King”? I know it’s just Disney, but still things like that had to come from real life concepts right? At some point or another love like that had to exist. (And I’m not talking about “Romeo and Juliet”. That story was plain ridiculous if you have ever read it.) Why not now? My answer would have to be: Our world is just messed up (and lacks a little magic).

If you are reading this and nodding your head (physically or, more than likely, mentally), I strongly encourage you only to say “I love you” if you truly mean it. I guarantee it will mean so much more every time you say it. But first learn what it truly is:

I have actually been that “jerky” girlfriend whom has dumped her (plural) boyfriend(s) because they told her “I love you”. Sadistic? Not at all. You see, to them love is a feeling, when in reality it is anything but. If love was a feeling it would be something that comes and goes. Think about it, every emotion: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, they all are temporary feelings. Love is something that (when truly) felt never goes away. “I love you, but I really don’t like you right now.” is a phrase that I enjoy to use because it is blunt, but truthful.

If I have a friend/acquaintance that tells me “I love you!” but I honestly cannot reciprocate, I will say one of three things:

1.) No you don’t (with a smile of course)

2.) That’s great! or just a plain:

3.) Thank you.

 

Although somewhat offensive to some recipients, I believe it is better than to exhaust the phrase and to otherwise lie. I admit, some of my ranting may be caused by fear of the word, but being numb to the feeling for so long it isn’t hard for me to take a logical standpoint on the subject.

There is no way to euthanize what we have currently done to the word in our modern world. I mean, every shampoo, perfume, cologne, and razor commercial hints that with their product you can find both love and sex. Can softer hair, a different smell, smoother skin, or new clothes really find love for you? Does saying it to an individual make you believe in it’s presence?

How can I make this any clearer than to say: You will never feel love. To feel is only to have it go away soon after. This is something you will experience. An experience will never be taken away from you.

 

Life Goes On.